I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
