okay pat passed out under dana's car
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize