I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
