When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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