Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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