Cold hands, warm shart.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
