I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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