He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
