You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
