and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
