I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize