I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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