I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
