another moral hangover. fuck.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
