i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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