i may or may not be watching the land before time
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
