Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
