chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
