then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
