its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
