I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
