i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
