And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
