did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I would fuck him just for his dog
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