If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
