so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
