Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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