Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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