I just cut my nipple shaving
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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