the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
