dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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