dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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