TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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