Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have fence marks all over my body
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
