If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
