He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
