I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize