Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
