I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
