i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
