Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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