how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We got so high we made milksteak
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
