Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
