fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
