Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
