these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
