There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm going to jail i love you
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
