She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
