that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
