"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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