Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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