Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She bit a glass in half.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
