If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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