Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
