I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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