We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
