and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
