I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
