had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
